Tag Archives: personal growth

On Further Examination

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I break open the day
and find myself innocent
though many records
have intimated otherwise

My current self
has not been kind
to my former self
in terms of estimation of her worth

But there are signs amid the boxes
that grace was also present,
there was lovability
and she was loved

It’s right to learn things,
it’s right to grow and to outgrow
and with that progress,
forgiveness also has its place,
it’s right to leave some things behind
but still remember
in a fundamental sense
I’ve never changed.

©Wendy Mulhern
May 16, 2017

Undisturbed

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My days go along smooth
like a stream that’s found its rhythm,
gathered enough volume
to flow in silent swiftness
with only subtle murmurs
over underwater stones

I seem to be learning
through a series of reflective observations
how to distinguish who I am
from the impostor

I’m finding that I cannot be offended,
can’t be insulted or annoyed
and can’t be injured:

The “I” that’s true
gets its essence from its source
which never ceases,
and gets its impulse
not from reaction
but from the constant sustenance
of good

So things run smoothly
which before were turbulent
and what was helpless
finds the power of calm.

©Wendy Mulhern
May 13, 2017

Paths

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There is a freedom in discovering
you’re on your own,
that most of life’s important tasks
you’ll face alone

There’s a relief in realizing
it’s not your job
to save anyone else —
their salvation, too, is their own

They, like you, are guided
on a singular arc
that can’t be analyzed
standing outside it,
they, like you, have all they need
to make the journey,
like you, they need to listen from inside

What a surprise, then,
the rush, the roar
(as hooves that pound together,
as wings that soar)
of finding we are moving
in the same beat,
thunderous in our unity,
burnished in our heat.

©Wendy Mulhern
May 9, 2017

Structure

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When the rigid walls have been abandoned,
we flounder a little,
seeking our structure

We will find it
in the logic of our movement,
in the tug of our connections
as we spin

We’ll build its lattices
with every act of kindness
and the sinew of attention
and the ebb and flow
of where we need to be

We will stay free
of rules that are external to our living,
we will grow strong
through listening and giving.

©Wendy Mulhern
May 6, 2017

A Lesson

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In the path to mastery
one crucial lesson
is the patience and the practice
of undoing
and redoing

Though we may wish
that we would never make mistakes
and though in later iterations
we may cease to,
every tailor is proficient with a seam ripper,
and carvers must know how to sharpen blades

We are still learning,
we are not masters yet,
and we won’t gain the skills we need
except by doing,
then let us laugh a lot,
let us forgive ourselves,
learn from today’s events
and keep on moving

©Wendy Mulhern
May 4, 2017

Shadow Warfare

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This shadow warfare is elusive,
for when I raise my hand to strike,
I make another shadow

I chase them inward
down all the corridors
where more and more of them have hidden —
they lay blame in sprawling overlapping patterns
over me, my circumstances, and the entities
identified as other

If I turn on them with anger or with loathing,
I’ve embodied their dark quality
and they win,
so I continue inward
till I find the only tool of victory,
inward to my grasp of endless love.

©Wendy Mulhern
April 5, 2017

Purging

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I will clear out
all that doesn’t serve me,
books I never read,
shelves of past regrets,
all the inner stories that stunted my unfoldment,
wily and continual betrayers

I do not need
memories of weakness,
dire affirmations of historical shortcomings,
don’t need all those old complaints
or that dusty disapproval,
don’t need those assumptions or constraints

I’m getting rid of
anything that’s broken,
anything that’s worn out or outgrown,
I’ll let the spring shoots
fill in all around me,
I’ll let fresh new views
become my own.

©Wendy Mulhern
April 3, 2017

Save, or I Perish

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As if randomly,
through some searing memories
I find myself
fallen between the ribs of normalcy,
lodged in the space between
what I thought and what I’ve come to understand
stuck in a place where I can only cry
“save, or I perish”

Part of me thinking,
are tears so bad, anyway?
Is this agony, or is it just
the stretching of my face
and of the inside of my mouth?

What carried me this far
will carry me all the way.
To the almighty, it doesn’t matter
if my salvation took a thousand years
or one day,
I am not tardy,
I am not far from home —
wait for the clearing,
for surely it will come.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 26, 2017

 

Losing Weight

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It has not cost me anything
to let go of worry.

When I consider
the collective effort
of so many of us
to lose weight,
I marvel
at why more people
haven’t noticed this one —
the great lightness that lifts us
when we recognize
the perfect order
of all things living
(including us)
has been established
and doesn’t need
to be worried into place.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 22, 2017

Tone Deaf

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Some time afterwards,
the niggling suspicion knocks,
flounces its way in,
sets its baggage down,
and I start to conclude
I have been tone deaf

Certainly not for the first time,
though I had hoped these incidents
had mostly tapered off,
as has my former swift self castigation

I am a little sorry, yes,
but also curious —
what internal constructs
led to the little gaffe, which rolled out
with such ease and comfort?
Where could my mind be, next time,
to reduce the risk of doing this again?

Ah, let me be included
in the grand forgiveness
that Life gives each of us
as we come home,
where we serenely know
we never fail each other
when in the consciousness of being one.

©Wendy Mulhern
March 14, 2017