What inadvertent loop
brought me back to the place
where all the stories of ancient fears
had congregated,
where they sat in cold knots
feeling forgotten but wielding
their influence, oozing their stain
onto my outlook?

How was it not enough
to remember
the warm expansiveness
of my liberation? How could I
fit myself, cramped as ever,
back into those constrictions?
And how do I get back to free?

Since trying has failed,
I try not trying.
I look for the stillness
of not doing.
I may find myself back here again —
I’ll gain from learning to escape.

©Wendy Mulhern
October 16, 2016